


Theres a reason

by miishiman



Category: Skeos - Fandom
Genre: Death, Funeral, depicitions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:22:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miishiman/pseuds/miishiman
Summary: The walls don’t fucking love you.It wasn’t meant to hurt this much. He could still hear the screams on the London subway. The blood. The moment his best friend disappeared forever. And this was it. The last time anyone would see his face.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Theres a reason

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember this does not mean i want anyone of the OG Skeos fans to die, I just had an idea that I wanted to expand upon.

It was a hot day in the middle of June. It left a bitter taste in Skeos' mouth. He never was a fan of the heat. Especially not when he was in a black suit on the brink of tears. 

He remembered only a few months ago he and Paul were planning a trip to london to visit their good friend, Tommyinnit. A few weeks later, they'd gone. And then it hit. The train, that is. He knew Paul's life wasn't the kindest but he didn't know it was that bad. They'd only just left Tommy's house when it happened. The blood. The almost silent but near deafening crack in the silent train stop. He'd only turned around for a second to buy a water bottle and then he was gone. No one there to watch and no one else to have done it. Skeos' remembered his heart stopping for a moment before he was able to comprehend what had just happened. After that he couldn't remember anything until he woke up on Tommy's floor. The rest of the trip was a blur. 

He realized he'd stopped in the middle of the parking lot and quickly started moving to an open parking spot at the funeral home. He sighed as he turned off the car, and with it the air conditioning. He knew there would be more if he could just go inside but he couldn't bring himself to try and say goodbye yet. It wasn't supposed to be so soon.

He thought about what he'd done after. He'd become so violent. Nearly all streaming stopped. The only thing that filled his time was yelling to the world and crying himself to sleep. He managed to tell the discord about Paul's passing but hadn't been active otherwise. There was some "I'll be there"s regarding the funeral but he didn't know who. The only name and face on his mind was Paul's. The last time he'd seen it, he gave a halfhearted smile as Skeos turned around to get a water. That smile was ingrained into his eyelids. It was all he could see at night. It was the only thing he wished he could see again. If only he'd pulled him with him. If only he'd paid a little more attention to the pain in his eyes and his withdrawn behavior that night. If only..

He was crying. Or sweating. Or both. It was so hot he couldn't tell. All the energy had drained from his body. It heaved through each breath and he wished he'd gotten water. Water. He hadn't drank any since that night. He saw it as a bad omen. Why was it so vital anyway? He was doing fine living off of Dr. Pepper for the weeks it took the funeral to be set up. He heard a knock on his car door. He manually rolled down the window and recognized a small group as Bug, Crina, and Ooffles. 

"Hey, the service is starting soon," One of them said, though it was muffled. He hadn't listened to anything but the sounds of his own sobbing and screams in weeks. He wasn't surprised he couldn't tell. He nodded still and could vaguely hear himself tell them he'd be in soon. And with that they walked away. He couldn't be bothered to roll his window back up, even though the more direct sunlight just made him overheat more. He was too exhausted to take off his suit jacket, or even stand, so nothing changed. He just kept crying. 

Tears.

He remembered crying at Tommy's the day after it had happened. He remembered the violent panic attack that he was trapped in. The guilt. The way his lungs felt so full of water but empty at the same time. He felt like he was drowning. Over and over again. But he couldn't seem to die. Eventually he could breath again. He heard Tommy speaking to him. He felt the gentle touch of his hand on his arm. And suddenly he was real again. Breathing and okay. He watched himself move his hand. It didn't feel like his own. His body didn't feel his own. He barely felt it at all. Instead he focused on his breath. He remembered it all in such vivid detail. The blood, the crunch, the conductor running onto the platform when the train stopped. The look of sheer terror they gave each other. They'd both known he hadn't survived. And then he was gone again. He couldn't breath through his tears. He nearly passed out a few times from it.

The world was hazy again. He knew the heat was getting to him. He knew the service was starting. But his body felt like jello. Weak and melting. He knew he should get moving so he didn't die out here but it felt impossible. The tears kept mixing with his sweat as he felt himself slipping away. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. It felt horrible to move. His legs were stuck to the vinyl seats and his heart ached a million sorrows. 

Guilt. He finally pinpointed what he was feeling. Not longing, not anger. Just guilt. It was his fault that Paul had died that night. If he'd waited until they got to the hotel he would still be here. Maybe had he just asked if everything was okay. But he couldn't go back. And now Paul was dead because of him. Skeos remembered screaming at Tommy. Screaming about how horrible he felt. How angry he was at himself. He remebered Tommy yelling back.

"Yell at the walls. They don't fucking love you," He'd said. 

And it forced Skeos to think. Tommy cared for him. He was yelling at one of his close friends. He started crying again. In his pain he hadn't seemed to realize. And now he'd possibly fucked up another friendship. One there and one on the tracks.

The tracks. There were rails. Why hadn't the rails stopped him? Was Paul desperate enough to die that he climbed the barriers? Were they broken? He wouldn't be able to know now. How had he climbed so fast?

He couldn't think anymore. Or breath. He was panting through the heat and sobbing through the tears. He felt like he was suffocating again. But there was nothing to bring him back down this time. His vision was fading. Slipping faster than he thought it would. Is this what dying felt like? His body went numb until he couldn't cry anymore. His breathing slowed a little too much. He felt a sudden chill go through his body. One last attempt at living. But the last thing he felt was his head hit the ledge of his car door.  
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The service ended and slowly the attendees trickled out. Crina waved to their friends and went to their car, which was parked next to Skeos'. They hadn't seen him inside and went to check on him. All they felt was shock. Juliet saw Crina frozen and came to look at what had happened and immediately called 911 for an ambulance. But it was too late. 

Gone, but not forgotten. They were buried next to each other. 

Forever together in the afterlife, left to wonder, is there ever a reason?

**Author's Note:**

> Im so sorry lol. at the time of writing, i am craving tears. hope you had fun.


End file.
